


Painfully Ironic

by magical_traveler



Category: Harry Potter - J. K. Rowling
Genre: Big Dick Draco, Come Kink, Desk Sex, Dirty Talk, Draco Malfoy Has a Large Cock, Draco Malfoy hates Valentine's, F/M, Gratuitous Smut, Head Boy Draco Malfoy, Head Girl Hermione Granger, Hermione is a sass queen, Horny Draco Malfoy, Light exhibitionism kink, POV Draco Malfoy, PWP, Pining Draco Malfoy, Plot What Plot/Porn Without Plot, Public Sex, Shameless Smut, Smut, Valentine's Day
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2021-02-14
Updated: 2021-02-14
Packaged: 2021-03-15 03:14:05
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,954
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/29429370
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/magical_traveler/pseuds/magical_traveler
Summary: “Why, Granger, got a hot date and didn’t tell me?” He sneered.“That’s none of your business, Malfoy. I didn’t think you were one to celebrate or like Valentine’s anyway.”“I hate Valentine’s Day.”“Only because you’ve only got your hand to hold you.”“You wish it was your hand.”—————————Draco Malfoy hates Valentine's Day, but maybe this one won't be so bad?
Relationships: Hermione Granger/Draco Malfoy
Comments: 15
Kudos: 280





	Painfully Ironic

**Author's Note:**

  * For [miamoriartyart](https://archiveofourown.org/users/miamoriartyart/gifts).



> Happy Valentine's fellow Dramione fans! This fic was born from a conversation between Mia Moriarity and me! This is shameless smut with absolutely no plot. 
> 
> Mia, I hope this fic hits many of your favorite kinks! May it make you as horny as Draco himself.

* * *

Draco didn’t mind patrols, not really. They were a trivial inconvenience he had to endure, but what made it worse was having to do them with Granger. Swotty, intelligent, puffy haired Granger. She smelled of lilacs, ink, and parchment. The scent was overwhelming, invading his senses and claiming them for her. 

“We still need to go down to the Slytherin and Ravenclaw halls,” she said. 

“If you would pick up the pace with those short legs of yours, we could get there faster.” 

A huff from below him echoed in his ears. He wondered if she would be any good at putting her lips to other uses. How would they feel wrapped around his stiff cock, sucking him off while he held her hair tight in his hands. He could imagine the sound of her soft moans as she moved up and down. The warmth of her mouth would be nothing compared to her cunt. The feel of pushing through her entrance into her folds, feeling her pulse around him as he brought her to orgasm, again and again. His name would be pulled from her lips in strangled cries of pleasure. 

Damn it. He was getting a hard-on. 

Everything was fine before that stupid dream. Just a week ago, after a particularly good wank to the image of a brunette with soft lips, he awoke from a vivid sex dream. Of course, Hermione Granger was the star of the show with her pert tits moving up and down as she rode him to completion. He hadn’t been able to stop imagining her since. The few days after the dream he avoided her as much as possible. He did his best to schedule rounds with other prefects, he kept his Head Boy door closed at all times, and ignored her wherever and whenever he could manage. 

Fate would be cruel to him though and make it to where he just had to do rounds with her tonight, landing him in this irritating and uncomfortable position. Adding to his predicament, it was Valentine’s Day. He didn’t have a date, nor did he want one considering his time had been spent avoiding Granger. But how ironic was it that he, Draco Malfoy, was paired with Hermione Granger on Valentine’s? Painfully ironic. 

“Malfoy, are you paying attention? We need to get done. I want to get back to the room,” she said. 

“Why, Granger, got a hot date and didn’t tell me?” He sneered. He couldn’t help but be jealous if she did. None of the blokes deserved her brilliant mind. 

“That’s none of your business, Malfoy. I didn’t think you were one to celebrate or like Valentine’s anyway.” 

“I hate Valentine’s Day.” 

“Only because you’ve only got your hand to hold you.” 

“You wish it was your hand.” 

He looked down at her face, only to find her brown eyes huge and staring at him. Then the weight of his words came pouring down on him as if the Black Lake itself drained and all the water just drowned him right there. What an idiot he was. If only he could disappear right now.

A forceful slap found his cheek, jerking him from his thoughts. “What the everloving fuck, Draco? I wouldn’t touch your dick if it was the last one in Wizarding England. But good thing you’ve got two hands and imagination.” 

“You’d just be depriving yourself of touching the most pleasure-giving dick in the whole wizarding world.”

Her chest was heaving. Her breasts were moving up and down under her uniform. They would fit perfectly in his hands and his mouth, his come marking them as his. Her cheeks were painted a nice pink blush that was starting to extend down to her neck. Despite slapping him moments ago, both hands were fisted at her sides.

She was beautiful, even while angry at him. 

“Oh trust me, my imagination is more than ample in finding things to stimulate myself. Unfortunately, you also invade those too just like your perfume is invading my sense of smell,” he said.

Hermione’s eyes opened even wider. Her mouth opened ever so slightly. “I’m sorry, did you just say you’ve wanked to thoughts of me, Draco Malfoy?”

Oh. Fuck. 

He stood there. Someone might as well have petrified him, maybe even use the killing curse on him. Hermione would probably volunteer at this point. That would be pleasant compared to this spiralling conversation. His heart was racing in his chest. Maybe he could just run? No, there was no coming back from this. 

“You’re mistaken if you think all of the blokes in this castle don’t fantasize about you, Hermione Granger.” He moved and caged her to the wall with his arm. “Imagine what it would be like to spread you open on a table, pleasuring you until you screamed his name. Going down on you and making your legs shake from the force of the orgasm he gave you. Then sliding his cock into your wet cunt, and worshipping your body the way you deserve. Your pleasure would always be a priority.” 

His hands grew clammy and his tie felt too tight. His trousers also seemed to shrink a size or two. Telling her one of his fantasies was a risk, but what did he have to lose? If he was lucky she wouldn’t kill him.

She looked up at him defiantly. “You-you're lying. All the blokes? More like it’s just one bloke and he’s currently caging me to the wall. With his stupid stormy grey eyes pinning me in place.” 

“I’m many things but I’m not a liar,” he said. 

Her eyes were alight. The gold flecks encompassing the iris of her brown eyes warmed the cold moonlight reflecting off of them. Draco moved closer to her, putting his forearm against the stone. They were just a breath away from one another now, their lips close but not close enough to touch. He felt her breasts brush his chest at the rhythm of her breathing.

Faster than he could react, she grabbed his uniform with both hands and pulled him down to a heated kiss. The pressure was just right, and her lips slotted perfectly with his. His tongue swiped across her bottom lip, demanding access. 

When she opened her mouth, the kiss deepened. Teeth clashed as the heat began to compound between them. His hand found her hair, his fingers mingling with her riotous curls. He pulled her closer.

Hermione moaned as his tongue moved across hers. She pulled his shirt out of his trousers, her hands slipping underneath. The places she touched seemed to come alight. His body was on fire with every touch of her fingers and movement of her hand as she explored his torso. 

“Feel something you like, Granger?” 

She replied with a smirk. “You wish, Malfoy.”

His lips claimed hers again. His hand moved under her skirt and one finger moved along the strip of fabric covering her opening. 

She was soaked. 

Draco pushed the fabric aside and circled her clit. He kissed down her jaw and neck, gently nipping the spot above her collarbone. He sped up his ministrations on her clit, listening for her pants getting louder and louder. 

“What if someone sees? We–we are–” she said. 

“Let them see. Let them see you getting the pleasure you deserve.” He pressed down on her clit and felt her shudder. 

Her mouth fell open and a moan escaped from her lips. 

The moment she was mostly through her orgasm he grabbed her hand and pulled her down the hall. 

“Where are we–” she started.

“A classroom. You are going to have at least two more orgasms before we’re through.” 

They found an open classroom and went inside. The moment the door was shut, she pinned him against it and her lips were back on his. She pulled his lip between her teeth then looked at him through her lashes. 

“What was that about pleasuring me on a table?” An impish grin played at her lips.

She tugged him by his tie and sat atop the nearby table, quick to begin undressing him. “I don’t think you can give me two more orgasms, let alone with your dick. Even if you have, what was it? The most pleasure-giving dick in the whole wizarding world?” 

“Is that a challenge, Granger? Because I will have you screaming my name. That’s a promise.” 

Hermione flashed a smile at him before unbuttoning her own shirt, revealing a red and black striped bra. Slowly, she slid the shirt off her body and dropped it to the floor. She shimmied out of her skirt and vanished her matching knickers. “What do I get if you lose?”

“I won’t.”

She laughed. “So cocky, are we? Let's get started.”

Draco quickly divested himself of his clothes, his large cock springing free, and began kissing her again. He moved his fingers to test her entrance and then palmed himself. He lined himself up and thrust in until his hips hit her thighs. 

She moaned into his mouth and her fingernails dug into his back. Her legs wrapped around his hips and he started a punishing rhythm. Her moans filled his ears with each full thrust. 

He took it all in, her little gasps when he changed the angle, her moans when he slowly pulled out. He looked down at her and watched in awe as her face formed the O he was looking for. He slowed his pace and leaned down to whisper in her ear. “Come on, Granger, come for me.” 

One more quick thrust and her eyes clenched shut. Her walls contracted around him and her legs began to shake. Her nails scratched down his back, and she moaned. 

He waited a moment before picking up the pace again, driving into her. Her heels dug into his arse, spurring him on. He moved his hand to her clit, matching the rhythm there with his thrusts. It felt better than he imagined to be inside her. “Your cunt is taking my cock so good, Granger. So good. Better than I could imagine.” 

Hermione pulled him down into a kiss, her hand touching the hairs at the nape of his neck. “More. I need more, Malfoy. Harder.”

Draco adjusted the pressure on her clit. His own muscles began to tighten as he felt the need for release. His brow was damp with sweat. He sped up his thrusts again. Pressing down one more time on her clit, he timed it with a deep thrust. 

Her back arched off the table and she screamed his name with her release. 

His rhythm broke as he felt his own release. A grunt escaped his lips before her name. He came inside her as her walls pulsed around his cock. He leaned forward and collapsed his sweaty body on to hers. He waited a few moments before pulling out. He admired his come leaking out of her before vanishing the mess away. 

“I think I won our little challenge,” he said as he began pulling his trousers up. 

“This is just one time. I don’t think you could make it a repeat performance.” She moved off the table and began getting dressed. She pulled on her skirt and put her arms through her blouse. 

“Is that another challenge, Granger? Care to lose again?” He gave her a playful smirk.

“One time isn’t proof, you’d need a bigger sample size. You just got lucky.” Hermione grabbed her wand and cast a spell to fix her hair. 

“Is that an invitation?”

Hermione stopped and looked at him. She smiled. “Perhaps.” She walked to the door and left, leaving Draco hating Valentine’s Day a little less. 

  
  


**Author's Note:**

> Thank you for reading! Comments and Kudos are appreciated! 🤗💕
> 
> Find me on [Instagram](https://www.instagram.com/magicaltraveler3/) and [tumblr](https://www.tumblr.com/blog/magicaltraveler3)


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